Category Archives: Rambling

Living In Australia

So.¬† We moved!! ūüôā¬† Finally, after months of preparation, and trying to get visas and citizenships and passports, etc… We arrived in Australia.

It is fabulous to be with my family, though it has been much harder than I thought it would be.¬†¬† My dad’s health is poor and it is hard to watch.¬† Our family has been in transition since July when we sold our triplex (kind of before that, too, when we were getting it READY to sell) so we are well and truly READY to settle down and find a home and a routine.

More later… it is past time to update this, if for no other reason, than I’ll have a record!!

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Thoughts on Psalm 90

v1 You are my dwelling place!¬† You are… from everlasting to everlasting!! – from “Once upon a time” to “Your Kingdom Come”

v4: Timing: For a thousand years in Your sight is like one day pasing.  Grab onto His perspective on timing (specifically in relation to WAITING for my citizenship to come through so we can visit my family in Australia for a while.

v8. In Your presence… let me LIVE and BREATHE there… the hidden places of my heart will be revealed and You will transform me

v12. Teach me to number my days… That I present to You a heart of¬† WISDOM, grown in me by You in Your presence… Each day, fully given¬†over to You and You alone.¬†

v14. Satisfy me¬†in the morning with Your lovingkindness: SURPRISE me with Your love at daybreak!! – That I may sing for JOY and be glad all my days:¬† THEN I’ll skip and dance ALL DAY LONG!!

v16. Let Your work, Your power, Your majesty and Love be seen by us and our children

v17. Let the favor, the LOVELINESS, of our God rest on us, be UPON us, confirming the work that we do…


why I am glad my kids talk back

Really!

When I bark instructions and Keenan begins stomping down the hall sighing, and I stop him and ask what’s up.¬† And he says, ” every time you ask me to do something you say it so mean and it just makes me not want to do it!”

Oh.

Feeling small.  In an appropriate and good way.

I am glad that even with too much yelling and tones of voice that are¬† barky and mean and not conversationally inviting, they are still willing to put themselves out there and say how they feel.¬† And I am thankful that we are all… dad included… working on our tone.¬† On NO sarcasm.¬† Even the slight subtle kind. And sounding friendly if firm. On speaking gently.¬† On giving instructions clearly and precisely.

It definitely makes for a happier home.  One where the talk-backs become fun and induce giggles and smiles and hugs.


A Spiritual Cry

That is an understatement, actually.¬† The last couple months life has been getting progressively harder.¬† More emotional and deeper down days and more sporadic anger (that sounds mild to the reality) and less hope.¬† Lies in my mind overcoming the truth that I was trying to whisper¬† back to it.¬† Knowing I needed more time to myself to think and renew.¬† (I think when you get to the stage that you get butterflies in your tummy and feel mildly tipsy and giddy when you get to leave the house with no littlies – maybe its a sign…).

Then a close friend had her baby prematurely, and her experience started mirroring ours… and I cried off and on for the next three days.

THEN I started talking to Bryan one night.¬† and crying.¬† and sobbing.¬† and wailing.¬† and travailing.¬† It was not of this world… it was like I was birthing something bad out of me.¬† Almost like I wasn’t part of the whole experience.

And since then… over a week now… life is great!¬† The hope is back.¬†¬† The joy is back.¬† My sanity is back!!!

For God has not given us a spirit of FEAR… but of power, of love and of a sound mind!!!

Thank you Jesus!!


Meditations during Holy Week – Thursday

Using Pray As You Go and praying The Divine Hours

TUESDAY

from the morning hours:

Psalm 81:8-10¬†¬† If you would but listen to me!!¬† Open your mouth and I will fill it!!! – why on earth would I get so lazy and keep my mouth closed…¬† Fill it Jesus… It is open, fill me up with You, the things of Your Spirit, the divine Joy and Rest of You and who You are.

Psalm 86:11 “Teach me Your way oh Lord and I will walk in Your truth; knit my heart to You that I will fear Your name”

Psalm 71:15 “My mouth shall recount your mighty acts and saving deeds all day long, though I cannot know the number of them”

Pray-As-You-Go

“Wherever love is true… God is there…”

God Present... in Bryan quietly getting ready, not expecting me to give up precious sleep to see him off… Touching my side in the middle of the night when I crawl back into bed after getting up with Talia… Shand sitting in my lap sharing her paper cutting with me.¬†¬† Sweet child… wondering at the world

LISTENING to Jesus… IMAGINING I was there…

My Thoughts: Embarrassed and feeling awkward as Jesus makes His way around to my feet.¬† I’m humbled and broken as I see the contents of my non-servant heart.¬† Tears well… I have a strong desire to be like this amazing man in front of me, kneeling at MY feet!

Speaking to Jesus now: Thank you for showing me Your heart.¬† Please make my heart like Yours.¬† Give me a desire, remind me!, that I want to serve as You serve…


Holy Week Meditations…

Using Pray As You Go and praying The Divine Hours

MONDAY

Scripture: Matthew 26:6-12

My reaction to Mary pouring out costly perfume and Judas’ reaction:¬† Embarrassed for her, wishing I could be so extravagant.

My reaction to Jesus words “The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. 12When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial.” I feel a bit of panic and denial that what he said might really be true… if I ignore it…

These reactions surprised me.¬† I thought I was ‘bigger’ than that.¬† It’s good to have your heart revealed with all it’s doubts and hesitancy…

How might I pour out on Jesus today?¬† Extravagantly blessing my children with blessings they ‘waste’… it’s so small.¬† So tiny.¬† Seems so insignificant… But what I do for the least… the little ones that have not much say… I do for Him.¬† My Savior.¬† My Groom.

The Divine Hours morning:

Let my mouth be full of Your praise* and Your glory, the essence of who You are… all the day long. Psalm 71:8

Show me Your ways, O LORD,* and teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth.  Psalm 25:3


FOR TODAY

Outside my window…

dripping of melting snow… lovely

I am feeling…

restless… wanting the next stage (moving) the next season (SPRING) a new schedule (… but what will work?) Knowing I must live and enjoy the NOW… He is my PRESENT help… now.

I am thinking . . .

how I miss my husband and sons.  We all belong together.

I am thankful that…

I still have my little girls to keep me company

From the learning rooms…

books everywhere.  The world map is falling off the wall from getting touched so much. GREAT STUFF!

From the kitchen…

NOTHING except some dishes that need to be finished and soaking pinto beans.  Its nice not having so many to cook for.  For dinner I had the two left over pieces of pizza from lunch that my sister-in-law and MIL brought.

I am wearing…

slippers, jeans, old t-shirt and fleece hoodie.

I am creating…

nothing.¬† I’d really like to start being able to pout something in this spot… really!

I am going…

nowhere.¬† Home all weekend.¬† Bryan accidentally took the keys with him camping. Its nice KNOWING I can’t go anywhere.

I am reading…

Leadership Education and Thomas Jefferson Education – that’s where most of my thoughts and brain power are going lately.

I am hoping…

for a less interrupted sleep tonight.

I am hearing…

only the hum electric stuff in our house.  The silence is lovely.

Around the house…

dark and quiet, semi picked up, most of the laundry caught up, and warm enough that the windows were open a couple hours today.

One of my favorite things…

quiet…

A few plans for the rest of the week:

implementing more of the Thomas Jefferson Education principles.  Drinking  more water.  Less researching and finding inspiration on the computer and more implementing what I know so far.  More quiet time to evaluate and pray, etc.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…