Monthly Archives: April 2010

It’s been a while

Hi any friends that may read.   I apologize for deserting you.  I discovered Facebook.  Nobody expects anything deep.  I speak in one sentence thoughts.   If that.  It’s simple.

But I miss here.

It’s been a tad emotional around here.  I’m tired of being hormonal.  I’m tired of being tired.  I miss my optimistic self.  I miss the old me.  The new me is sad and grumpy and tired and pessimistic, always scrambling to rise above life, desperately reaching out to Jesus.  The reaching out to Jesus is great.  But I’d like to spend more time enjoying and less time feeling desperate.

I started a new book.  Parenting is Your Highest Calling… and 8 other myths that trap us in worry and guilt.  I have high hopes that this book, coupled with a few moments set aside for me to have a break and have time to think and listen and recharge, things will be improving on the ‘joy’ front.

On the church front.  MJ feels we are released to begin the 24 hour prayer room.  I am so excited!!  Our goal is to start the 3rd week of May I think ( the week leading up to Pentecost Sunday)  We are hoping… hey, I’m planning! – but of course – only with God’s miracle working! – that we will be in the ‘permanent’ space.  That will take our tiny church of about 30 – 40 people doubling their tithe consistently in order to pay rent and utilities and supplies for the prayer room.  It gives me goosebumps!!

Advertisements

Meditations during Holy Week – Thursday

Using Pray As You Go and praying The Divine Hours

TUESDAY

from the morning hours:

Psalm 81:8-10   If you would but listen to me!!  Open your mouth and I will fill it!!! – why on earth would I get so lazy and keep my mouth closed…  Fill it Jesus… It is open, fill me up with You, the things of Your Spirit, the divine Joy and Rest of You and who You are.

Psalm 86:11 “Teach me Your way oh Lord and I will walk in Your truth; knit my heart to You that I will fear Your name”

Psalm 71:15 “My mouth shall recount your mighty acts and saving deeds all day long, though I cannot know the number of them”

Pray-As-You-Go

“Wherever love is true… God is there…”

God Present... in Bryan quietly getting ready, not expecting me to give up precious sleep to see him off… Touching my side in the middle of the night when I crawl back into bed after getting up with Talia… Shand sitting in my lap sharing her paper cutting with me.   Sweet child… wondering at the world

LISTENING to Jesus… IMAGINING I was there…

My Thoughts: Embarrassed and feeling awkward as Jesus makes His way around to my feet.  I’m humbled and broken as I see the contents of my non-servant heart.  Tears well… I have a strong desire to be like this amazing man in front of me, kneeling at MY feet!

Speaking to Jesus now: Thank you for showing me Your heart.  Please make my heart like Yours.  Give me a desire, remind me!, that I want to serve as You serve…


Holy Week Meditations…

Using Pray As You Go and praying The Divine Hours

MONDAY

Scripture: Matthew 26:6-12

My reaction to Mary pouring out costly perfume and Judas’ reaction:  Embarrassed for her, wishing I could be so extravagant.

My reaction to Jesus words “The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. 12When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial.” I feel a bit of panic and denial that what he said might really be true… if I ignore it…

These reactions surprised me.  I thought I was ‘bigger’ than that.  It’s good to have your heart revealed with all it’s doubts and hesitancy…

How might I pour out on Jesus today?  Extravagantly blessing my children with blessings they ‘waste’… it’s so small.  So tiny.  Seems so insignificant… But what I do for the least… the little ones that have not much say… I do for Him.  My Savior.  My Groom.

The Divine Hours morning:

Let my mouth be full of Your praise* and Your glory, the essence of who You are… all the day long. Psalm 71:8

Show me Your ways, O LORD,* and teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth.  Psalm 25:3