I know, SURPRISE…. I was pregnant.  
Thursday I was 11 weeks by my calculations… which typically are a week less than ultrasounds show. 
I was due for my first appointment next week. Bryan took Thursday night off work so I could rest.  I am so SO very thankful as he was there when I started cramping and miscarried early Friday morning.
I had no idea just how physically painful a miscarriage would be.  So… as surprised and overwhelming as it was to discover I was pregnant with Shand being only 5 months old, the anticipation was building and we were excited over all the new challenges and fun and chaos this new baby would bring.

The neat thing is how God has been preparing me.  All of my quiet times in Scripture and books I have been reading lately, and a message or two I have listened to, have been pointing to and affirming my partnership with Christ and our relationship, and His sovereignty and me trusting and being willing to go anywhere, through anything holding His hand.
So I have been moving surrounded by His peace… the kids memory verse that Thad was singing on Thursday was burnt
on my brain for upcoming sleepless night… “Don’t be anxious about anything, BUT in everything… by prayer AND petition… WITH thanksgiving present your requests to God.  THEN THEN… the PEACE of GOD, which transcends all understanding, will GUARD YOUR HEART AND YOUR MIND in Christ Jesus.”
Peace in Jesus… It seems to have been the theme of the year since the last Dunamis retreat.
Last night, tired and weary though I was, we decided to go to the Dunamis leadership meeting (which we are part of because I am leading worship again for the next retreat).  It was incredible.  One of the ladies is SUCH a spiritual / and physical mother figure… it is the role God seems to have for her in these places.  So that was special… how God provides that when my  mom is so far.  And they prayed Scriptures and promises and words all over me… it was beautiful.  I love LOVE the body of Christ.  And I love God… His goodness and faithfullness.
We are back on-line after a broken computer left us internetless for a while… I have missed chatting and catching up with all of you.  It will take me a while to get back around to visit with all of you.  If there’s any big news I missed, let me know 🙂

About reneegrace

A place to record my journey of creating a life of balance. First as God's child and bride, "wifing", mothering, homeschooling, leading worship, neighboring, mentoring, teaching piano, and the myriad of other things that clamor for my time and energy. And a place to put pictures to show my family whom I miss incredibly, and who live so very far away from us here in Alaska!! View all posts by reneegrace

12 responses to “Miscarriage

  • Leah

    I’m so sorry to hear this, Renee. I have dealth with miscarriages myself and know that it isn’t easy.

    Praying God’s continued peace on your family,

  • javamamma

    Oh friend. I had a suspicion after a couple things you said. I know kind of how you feel in this situation. I miscarried between my second and third girls. And it was alot like you. Surprise at the two being so close – but filled with anticipation. Then horrified at the physical pain of miscarriage. Yet God wrapped us in such a peace. Amazing. I pray God continues to guard you and watch over you in His wonderful peace!

  • Tiffany

    Oh Renee, my heart goes out to you. Your post is beautiful, as is the peace of God evidence in you through all of this. I’ve had three miscarriages, like you each time surprised to find out I pregnant (which is so much fun, kinda like Christmas, only you never know when Christmas is coming) and like you the physical pain of the miscarriage was very difficult. Rest if you can. It is so hard when we don’t get to know our children and yet so wonderful that we got them at all. I’ll be praying for you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing how God is faithful in this, it is such an encouragement to me.

  • Rachel

    Renee, I hate being so far away through everything — but especially difficult times. May you continue to know God’s blessings as you find yourself surrounded in God’s amazing grace and God’s amazing family. Love you sis.

  • Valeire

    Renee, words are pretty useless, but I am so sorry to hear about this. Praising God for His peace, though – that is awesome and must be such a comfort. Love, Val xxx

  • reneegrace

    you all are precious friends! Thanks… today was hardest… in between a crazy pirate birthday party for the 8 yr old… I was missing my kids not here… Keenan’s twin, and this one… we haven’t decided whether to name the baby (Keenan says, matter of factly, well, it died already. Its too late now! :)) – But I want to make a way to remember the baby somehow. SO we’ll see.

  • molleth

    *big huge fat hug*
    Love you, girl.

  • Rachelle

    Renee, I’m so sorry to hear about your pain and loss. Praying for you and Bryan right now. ~Rachelle~

  • EEEEMommy

    Oh, sweet girl! I’m sorry! What a wonderful testimony of God’s faithfulness. I pray that He continues to envelope you in peace and hold you in His arms.
    Grace and Peace,

  • myderbe

    I’m sorry, Renee. How wonderful that our Father is comforting you and holding you close.

  • Jill

    Very sad with you, Renee!

    With your great faith in God you are a beautiful reflection of HIM!

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