When God’s promises matter most…

This weekend… and since… has been incredible. Because it could have been so much more horrendous. Do I sound cryptic? Am I confusing you? I cannot share details, but I CAN tell you the amazing promises and words that God spoke over me in preparation for the unveiling of DEEP hurt and pain.

Just last Monday, during prayer and worship at our house church a week and a half ago, my sweet friend asked God what banners He had over me… and she received the words “chosen” and “beloved”…

At the Dunamis retreat, I thought I would be receiving AND giving through the worship prayer times, but that isn’t how God worked it out… I thought it a little odd, but was fine, that the first full 48 hours I just sat and received… Peace. Teaching. Peace. No direction. Just Peace. I didn’t even think I needed it that much, but hey, no one says “No” to His Peace, right?

I went to bed Friday night with ONE thought on my mind, knowing a storm was coming but not knowing what. I could think of nothing else but the Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Besides focusing my scattered mind that wanted to run away with vain imaginations, it gave me an overwhelming awareness of Jesus, His mercy, and how much I needed it. He knowing I would soon need to give it.

When the first surprise came later that night… God overwhelmed my heart with LOVE and FORGIVENESS I didn’t even KNOW was possible coming from my heart. There is no way it was me…

And in my Bible reading the next day He showed me 4 precious Psalms that spoke directly into my circumstances.

Psalm 127, 128, 130, 131…

Sunday morning, God awoke me, I showered, and decided to go over for morning prayer. Nobody had a clock in our cabin. I arrived a full 50 minutes before it started… at 6:10 LOL – just what I needed! a good half hour of prayer singing and Scripture singing, Father God ministering to me with no one around… then I crashed on the couch in the back, and this one phrase stayed in my mind as people began arriving and morning prayer began… “You sing over me…” Which later I sang over everyone else at prayer time… but it was mine that God gave me to share… and I held it close to my heart… and it comes back to me now.

And then there was the second surprise, Wed night. In light of a recent conversation over at Molly’s, I am so so thankful for this new prayer language… I had NO words last night. NONE. Only blinding anger and hurt. And it wasn’t until I stopped trying to find words I knew and allowed the Spirit in me to speak to Father God that He took my rage and softened my heart yet again to think and hear and receive and give.

I am skipping so much, but those would be the highlights of Father God preparing me for last night’s unveiling of truth. It is only, ONLY through Him that healing WILL come… I KNOW it… I have to know it. It is the only way to forgive and love. It is the only way to keep in my mind the huge work He has already done, the freedom from bondage He has graciously bestowed, the renewing of mind and heart that has taken place.

May I not stay in a place of self pity and anger and hurt, but release, release, release to full healing from the One Who heals.